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Good For Nothing…

8 Sep

We do things for people for one of many reasons; We are payed, we love them, we want to, we are called upon to do so… You get the point.

What about doing things out of guilt, where does that fit in? Are they as significant as all the others, or more like the step-child of the “Good For Nothing”.

A “Good For Nothing” is something you do, maybe, without anyone knowing or without any unnecessary advertising. You just do it because it feels good… To you.

During my Summer in rehab, GFN’s were encouraged and even became a game. You would wait for folks to do their laundry so you could fold it when they weren’t watching.

Clean the kitchen while the person in charge was still eating or make your roommates bed while they were in the bathroom… Get the point?

Why did this come to my mind? I was watching the movie “Seven Pounds” with Will Smith and it occurred to me that we don’t hear about those kind of things very often…

Then again why should or could we if they are meant to be “Good For Nothing” (insert small chuckle here).

So give it a try, do something for someone without them knowing you did it. Start small, it takes practice.

Like what? Well, you know that lady down the street that is always having a hard time, leave a $20 gift card to the grocery store in her mail box. While the old man next door is out, mow his lawn. Pay for an extra cup of coffee for person behind you in line.

You don’t have to go too far, someone in your family needs a hand and is too proud to ask, well don’t tell!

So go now, my Good For Nothing Soldiers and be Good For Nothing!!!

Good Morning Mom & Dad…

6 Sep

This morning I woke up quite early. The memory of yesterday still playing in my head. There was a great day of rehearsal. A call for a part.  A chance to talk to this guy I like.

There are so many great things going on, well I guess there is always great stuff going on in my life, some shape or form. But this was great all around.

Now, anyone that knows me knows I’m not a rich man, but I get by okay. I’m not a great looking man, but I clean-up nice. I’m not the greatest actor, but I can hold my own.

I may not even be the best friend a best friend deserves, but I’m there. Probably, and you’d have to ask my Exes, better yet don’t ask them anything… Ha!

But today, this morning, God bless, everything feels right. My bills are paid and I still have some money left. Well, except for Harvey, my car. Working on that one.

So I felt the urge to call my Mom & Dad and tell them about all that is going on. But… I always had a better connection with my mother, and want to get her on the phone and just tell her what’s going on.

Of course the gloomy morning doesn’t help, or the sad songs I’m listening to. But I want to know that my Mom is proud of me, not by other people, by her.

I wonder what’s the last memory she has of us together. Was it a time when I was a kid and didn’t know any better. Was it a drunk moment, when I didn’t know better.

Was it the last time we shared a cup of coffee and a cigarette… When her mind clears up, does she remember the last time I told her I loved her.

Cause I’m thinking of her now and it breaks my heart not to be sharing with her. So I ask God, if you can get a message to my parents… Good Morning, Mom & Dad.

Mom's Birthday

Help The Fire Burn Longer…

30 Aug

I went to church today. Not that is too hard to believe, I was raised Catholic and I’ve always enjoyed church. Yeah, I fought my parents growing up, but once I got older.

Then I understood the pageantry that went into it. The discipline, the coordination, the ritual. All made it comfortable, recognizable… Made it home.

Especially during the years where drugs & alcohol were a big part of my life I always had church. Especially when communion came around, that was my favorite part.

At that moment God told me that all my sins were forgiven. That everything I did that week was erased and I could start again. Sounds wrong, I know.

The tears would start flowing, not just small cry, large tears and snot and all. That was the part that made feel like God was really listening to me, regardless.

So today when I was in church and communion started, yep, I started crying. My friend thought I was really feeling the Spirit. I guess I was, but not for the reason he thought.

I was home.

Peace of Mind… Priceless…

23 Aug

There were too many days, too many months in the last year where I was broken-down. No money for gas, barely for food and not enough to lift my spirits.

Nights worrying about tomorrow, endless nights with no sleep and countless days sleeping from exhaustion. Things were not going according to my plan.

Then one day I got on my knees again, I had stopped praying on my knees, because I thought that my relationship with God had gotten on a first name basis.

I realized that although he loves me and his light goes with me where ever I go. I must offer him the respect He deserves. I must be humble before God.

My life turned around and now I sleep at night and live during the day. As it should be, as it should be…

There is no lesson or hard love story here, just that fact that I learned that when I am living under God’s light I will not get the benefits if I sitting next to Him.

I guess that makes sense why we say, “… One nation under God…”.  I pay attention!